Postpartum Anxiety: Why You Can’t Stop Worrying (and How to Actually Feel Better)

So, congratulations! You finally got your baby. You should be in your hot mom era, enjoying the snuggles and love from your baby, but still…your brain will. not. chill. Your brain is just running a 24/7 “what if” marathon:

·      What if they stop breathing?

·      What if I missed something?

·      What if I’m not reading to her enough?

·      What if we’re giving him too much screen time?  

Meanwhile everyone just keeps telling you, “enjoy the moment!” and “don’t blink this is the best time!” and you just think to yourself. I would LOVE to just be present with my baby, if my body would just cooperate with me!!! If this sounds familiar, there is nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken, you just may be dealing with postpartum anxiety. I’d like to help you understand better what is going on and how a therapy approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy(ACT) can help you feel a little more like yourself again.

What is Postpartum Anxiety? (And Why No One Talks About It Enough)

Postpartum anxiety (PPA) is the extremely common sister of postpartum depression, but doesn’t get talked about enough. (I will talk about it in a future blog though! Don’t you worry.) Fellow anxious mom, I know you have Googled this, but you’re seeking out more help and understanding on this because like tons of mom things: NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF! PPA can look like:

·      Constant worrying about your baby’s safety

·      Racing thoughts you can’t seem to turn off

·      Trouble sleeping…even when your baby is sleeping (rude!) and your partner is snoring peacefully next to you (EXTRA RUDE!)

·      Feeling on edge, restless, or “keyed up” all day

·      Random physical symptoms (tight chest, nausea, heart racing)

The kicker is that although you’re dealing with all of this, you can still look like a “good functioning" mom. You show up every day, feed your baby the best you possibly can, playing games, reading, tummy time. But inside, it feels like you don’t stop. Ever. It can occur shortly after giving birth or even a year after. And you may think. Why is this happening to me?

Ok, I Understand It’s Common, But Why Is This Happening to Me?!

Short answer: your brain is trying to protect your baby.

Longer answer:

·      Hormones are doing a dramatic exit after birth

·      You’re likely sleep-deprived (which is basically anxiety fuel)

·      You suddenly have the most important job ever with zero real off-switch

·      There’s a lot of pressure to “get it right”

So your brain goes:

“Let’s just think about every possible danger at all times. That should help.” Aaaaand it doesn’t help. Like at all.

The Things That Seem Helpful (But Aren’t) and Then What Can Help

Naturally, when anxiety shows up, we do what we can to control it. You may be

·      Checking your baby 47 million times before going to bed

·      Googling every symptom (and end up in a medical Google or Reddit rabbit hole)

·      Avoiding letting others help, even your partner, for fear they won’t “do it right”

·      Replay thoughts over and over trying to “figure it out” on your own.

And while all of this is totally understandable (I have done ALL of these), it is how your anxiety keeps winning AND growing. The more we try to eliminate anxiety through these methods, the more it sticks to you. So fun, right? I’d like to introduce a means of getting better, of coping with this difficult time with a therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

A Different Way: What Is ACT?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a type of therapy that takes a refreshingly honest approach:

You don’t need to get rid of your anxiety to feel better.

Wait, huh? That’s not what we’re usually taught. But instead of fighting this battle all of time, ACT helps you:

·      Stop fighting your internal experience

·      Get out of the thought spiral

·      Focus on what matters to you.

So instead of waiting to feel calm before living your life, you learn how to live your life with anxiety and have it take up way less space. Less fighting, more living.

How ACT Helps with Postpartum Anxiety

1. Making Space for Anxiety (Instead of Wrestling It at 2AM)

ACT teaches you to stop trying to “win” against anxiety. Because let’s be so for real right now, have you ever successfully argued your way out of anxiety at 3am? Exactly!

Instead of:

“I need this feeling gone.”

You practice:

“Okay… anxiety is here right now.”

Oddly enough, this tends to turn the volume down.

2. Getting Some Distance from Your Thoughts

Postpartum anxiety LOVES dramatic thoughts.

Example:

“What if something happens to my baby?”

ACT helps you shift to:

“I’m having the thought that something might happen.”

It sounds simple, but this creates just enough space so your brain isn’t running the whole show.

3. Coming Back to the Present Moment

Anxiety lives in the future and your life is happening right now.

Simple ways to ground yourself:

·      Feel your baby’s weight in your arms

·      Notice your surroundings

·      Sniff their little head (I know it smells heavenly)

·      Take one slow breath (yes, just one counts)

You don’t need a full meditation routine—just small moments of coming back. A gentle shift of focus. No need to be a zen master.

4. Remembering the Kind of Mom You Want to Be

Anxiety will try to boss you around.

ACT helps you gently ask:

“What actually matters to me right now?”

Maybe it’s:

·      Being present

·      Being loving

·      Letting yourself rest (when possible)

Then the goal becomes:

Taking small steps in that direction even if anxiety is tagging along.

5. Taking Small Steps (Even If Anxiety Comes Too)

You don’t have to feel 100% calm first.

You can:

·      Let someone else hold the baby

·      Step outside for fresh air

·      Take a break without earning it

Anxiety might still be there, but it doesn’t get to make every decision.

A Few ACT Tools You Can Try Today

Keep these simple—because you already have enough going on:

·      Name it:

“I’m noticing anxiety is here.”

·      Create space from thoughts:

“I’m having the thought that…”

·      Ground yourself quickly:

Look around and name 5 things you can see

·      Values check:

“What would I do right now if anxiety wasn’t in charge?”

When to Get Extra Support

If your anxiety feels constant, overwhelming, or is making daily life harder, it’s okay to get help. Actually, it’s more than okay. It’s smart.

Support can include:

·      Therapy (especially ACT-based therapy)

·      Postpartum support groups

·      Medical support if needed

You don’t have to push through this alone.

Final Thought (From One Mom to Another)

Postpartum anxiety doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It usually means you care. And a lot! But you deserve more than just surviving this stage. You deserve to feel present, connected, and like yourself again. Even if your brain is still a little loud sometimes.